Sixty Seconds of Happiness

“For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness,” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Saturday morning during a phone call with one of my very best friends in the universe, I made the recommendation that she look into the principles of forgiveness. It was a notion that I had been toying with for several weeks. The woman has been struggling in her relationships for years, and in recent conversations with her, I’d been struck by the idea that the need for forgiveness is at the core of some of the issues in her life.

Not wanting to alienate my friend, I had kept quiet regarding my theory … until Saturday morning. And then it slipped out, “You like to read self-help books, maybe you should look for one about forgiveness.”

You need to understand that I am not a bossy person, and (I think) I don’t go around telling people what they must do. In the seconds of silence that followed the delivery of my suggestion, I hoped I hadn’t offended her. As the seconds stretched, I hoped I wouldn’t need to ask for her forgiveness for butting in.

After the moment necessary to digest my comment, my friend was back in the conversation and it seemed that all is well.

Hours later, I disappointed all of the members of my family – each in their own way – and was put in the position of having to ask them to forgive me. And again that evening, circumstances caused problems for my teenager, and I was apologizing again. It was a long and stressful day.

Sunday morning dawned full of promise – also some snow and wind. We trekked off to church, picked up groceries afterward and returned home.

In the afternoon, a conversation with my hubby took a quick turn, and suddenly we were arguing. Do you realize that as long as each person is saying “you did this” or “you always do that”, neither person is moving toward the other emotionally?

I am imperfect. I do not have all the answers. And, although just the day before, I had told my friend that forgiveness was the key, that thought failed me in the heat of the argument. My hubby and I both felt the need to be right – the desire to be heard! When I was saying, “But, I …”, I should have been saying, “I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

There are many Biblical references to forgiveness – both granting forgiveness and receiving forgiveness. My advice is to read those reminders, humble yourselves to those you have hurt, and give them the power so healing can start.

There are times when forgiveness is acted out with or toward another person. And there are times when forgiveness is a solitary journey – starting in your own heart and ending in your own soul.

Ralph Waldo Emerson has it right, “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”